


Alienation

by Iceyprincess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Trollkin rose?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 10:15:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16931382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iceyprincess/pseuds/Iceyprincess
Summary: GA: You Hold Yourself Like A TrollGA: I Would Not Be Surprised If You Were Secretly Hatched And Raised On Alternia





	Alienation

**Author's Note:**

> This is a really old story I just dug up. Don't know what I was doing with it. I always planned to expand on it somehow, but never quite sure how. Maybe I'll get back around to this.

She never quite understood human relationships. It wasn't for lack of trying, she could understand a relationship intellectually, dissect it apart and examine its secrets, but despite everything, she couldn't get her own right. She simply did not do relationships like the other children. Her actions, to most of the world, were contradictory. 

When she was younger, she was always too aggressive. That is not to say she was angry, she was simply aggressive regardless of emotion. She would befriend other children and then call them various mean things, and act as if that was a perfectly reasonable thing for friends to do. She would get in endless fights over meaningless things. One time, before her memories had formed, she is told that she had a crush on a boy and displayed it by putting him in as much pain as possible. 

She visited many, many child therapists. Her earliest memories are of sitting in a comfortable room, trying to explain to a kind gentleman why she felt the things she did and do the things she does. None of them quite understood what she was going through. The medications provided were deeply unpleasant and helped little. It was hard. It was hard, and nobody understood. 

She was taken out of the school system early, and homeschooled instead, Mother hiring various tutors over the years as she was too busy or too drunk to do it herself. And despite her social disability, she managed to create a group of friends online. A small one, but close. It was in many ways easier to manage ones temperament with just text on a screen, and her friends were mercifully willing to endure her stranger moods, and ever her occasional psychoanalysis. She managed through the years. Through puberty, and all it entails. Mood swings. Strange bodily changes. Crippling self-image issues. The usual. 

And eventually, they played a game together, and everything changed. And when she discovered the alien species watching over their session, they felt familiar. It wasn't until the overly complicated explanation of troll romance that something clicked, and the strange feelings she felt so many times before arranged themselves into neat packages, and everything. Made. Sense. 

\----------

GA: Rose  
GA: Rose Are You Still There  
GA: Did I Say Something Wrong  
TT: No. I am simply... Overwhelmed.  
GA: Oh I See  
GA: Do Not Worry I Will Wait For You  
GA: Take As Long As You Need  
TT: Thank you. 

She took a deep breath to settle her nerves. She spent so long, bottling this all up. But it couldn't wait any longer. Ever since she joined the trolls on the meteor, she felt a very aching in her being. Relationships flowed so much easier with them. The jabs, the banter, the tension, the relief. A dance of aggression and caring that followed into this disease they call friendship. But she held back, well-driven instincts keeping herself rigidly in human etiquette. But she made a decision long ago, and she finally let it out to one of her most trusted companions aboard the meteor. And now...

TT: I am finding it hard to believe that you be so supportive in this... Situation.  
GA: Oh  
GA: Well I Don't Find It A Big Surprise  
GA: If I Am Being Entirely Honest  
GA: You Have Always Been More Comfortable Around Our Species  
GA: And I Could Detect Your Obvious Discomfort With Apparent Human Social Conventions  
TT: Am I that easy to read?  
GA: Well No  
GA: I Have Just Been Paying  
GA: Particular Attention  
TT: My, My. Watching me closely, have you, Miss Maryam?  
GA: Well  
GA: Um  
TT: Not too closely, I would hope. I would hate to have to get a restraining order against you.  
GA: What Is A Restraining Order  
TT: Nevermind.  
GA: Yes Well  
GA: As I Was Saying  
GA: You Hold Yourself Like A Troll  
GA: I Would Not Be Surprised If You Were Secretly Hatched And Raised On Alternia  
GA: It Would Explain Your Honestly Impressive Maneuvering Of Troll Etiquette When You Are So Inclined  
TT: I am honestly flattered, Kanaya. It's a great relief to know that I haven't been making a complete fool of myself.  
TT: In fact, I've apparently made a fool of myself much more often in human social circles.  
TT: But do you really think I could be a troll?  
GA: Well  
GA: Not Retroactively And Not Fully  
GA: I Do Not Believe We Have The Medical Equipment Needed For Such A Feat  
GA: Nor Do I Think You Could Handle The Sort Of Surgery Equis Might Preform  
GA: But We Could Make You A Very Good Approximation  
GA: I Have A Simple Solution We Can Preform Immediately  
GA: Cosmetics  
TT: You are an expert in such matters. I suppose this will involve dressing me up as well?  
GA: Heavily  
TT: It's a date.  
TT: I'll be right over to your room shortly. 

\----------

The design phase lasted a while. Kanaya couldn't stop drawing up new designs for Rose's new wardrobe, each more fanciful than the last. They brainstormed symbols for a while, before settling on a stylized rendition of her initials. They decided simple was better in terms of horns. And it took hours of alchemy to create a half decent skin pain that didn't rub off to easily and was just the right shade.

Rose is staring into a mirror, now, her new assemble covering her. It was...overwhelming. The subtle weight of the horns on her head, the shade of grey on her skin, the way her eyes would show only the subtlest hints of violet through the contact lenses if she looked very closely. The only thing a bit funny feeling was the fins carefully stuck to the side of her head, and the way they would just sit there, unfeeling and useless. But looking at it all felt so, so right in ways she could hardly describe. 

"It's perfect." She muttered, quietly, as Kanaya slipped in from behind, hand on her shoulder. 

"You Look Amazing, Rose. You Are By Far The Most Spectacular Troll I Have Ever Seen."

"This means a lot to me, Kanaya. Seriously. This is the best I've felt in years."

"I Am Simply Glad I Could Do It For You."

"Just one thing, though. Are you sure the color isn't... Presumptuous?"

Kanaya sighed a bit, and she turned Rose toward her, looking her in the eyes. "Rose. If There Is A Single Individual In All Of Paradox Space Who Is More Deserving Of Being Royalty Than You, I Would Be Very Surprised. Do You Understand?"

Rose broke the gaze shortly after, looking back into the mirror. She just stood silently for a long moment. But then, she took Kanaya's hand, and held it tightly in hers.

"I think I can live with this."


End file.
